A Race Fit for a Monday

May/6/2019

11 cars on the lead lap, second place nearly half a lap behind. What a boring race. Dover has been known to be hit or miss with the racing but when the package takes away the difficulty of driving the track we end up with this. I am terrified to see what Darlington looks like.

Its also a bad look for Nascar when the cars that finish first and second failed pre race inspection multiple times. Nascar has always been about pushing the boundries and operating the in the gray area but you should get punished if you get caught or arent within certain specifications. Instead you win and move on to the next week. Good on Martin Truex for winning two of the last three and good on Alex Bowman for finishing second two weeks in a row.

The cars are on rails and the racing is suffering because of it. Corner speeds dont matter if theres no consequence to pushing your limits in the turns. If it isnt a stage caution there would be no stopping these cars. I’m not saying wrecks make races but when the Xfinity car is harder to drive than the premier cup car that’s a problem. The highlights of the race were pit stops and that’s a race worthy of a monday.

-Bones

It’s Called Smear the Queer

May/3/2019

Politically correct culture has gone too far. I respect everyone’s identities and what they chose to be or chose to do but leave backyard bullshit football alone. The game where you throw it up and one person catches it and then it’s an all out war to get that ball back is called smear the queer.

Not kill the man with the ball, not get down mr president, I can let pigslaughter fly even though our culture cant. How is murder more politically correct than being gay? Or how is shooting at the president more okay than saying queer? I’m just a little lost is all.

What’s next kids cant play jackpot because it promotes gamblings? Catching a mystery box that ends up being bubble gum sounds alot like throwing dice and not wanting snake eyes. Let kids be kids stop trying make the bubble they are in fit your adult bubble. Obviously dont let your children be racially insensitive or actually be little dickheads but for the love of childhood let them be kids.

Honorable mentions are “cream the carrier” which sounds like a porno, and “choke the bloke” which sounds like beating your dick. Maybe smear the queer is the most politically correct thing to say.

-Bones

Geico 500 Recap

April/28/2019

This was in my opinion a very entertaining Superspeedway race, lots of passing lots of side by side pack racing. Whereas in years past its been a lot of single file racing and the leader could control the entire race. However I cant stand a race where someone doesn’t go for the win just cause their teammate is in front of them or they drive the same manufacturer.

Apparently the representatives from Chevy, Ford and Toyota came down and had a meeting with their drivers and said no matter what do not push another manufacturer to the victory. Which is all fun and games for probably the first 150 laps, work with your factory teammates but once it comes down to trophy time its every man for themselves. I do not care if you are driving a mini-van, a 747, or a dump truck if following you gives me the best chance to win then lead the way. No one except Alex Bowman knows whether or not he would have made a move on Chase Elliott since the caution was thrown on the last lap but after your spotter tells you someone is spinning behind you, you gotta go for it. Never in a million years could you have told Dale Earnhardt or Darrell Waltrip he couldn’t pass someone cause they drove the same manufacturer. Good win for Chase Elliott though, this will go a long way toward him winning another Most Popular Driver Award and locks him into the playoffs.

For the most part this was a really calm Talladega race, no real “Big one” just a few 4 car wrecks including one on the final lap. Which made for some really good racing. Surprise racing is better when there are 25 guys in the mix instead of 12 cars that are barely held together with duct tape. We almost made it a full Talladega race without a flip but luckily Kyle Larson kept the tradition.

All in all I like this Superspeedway package moving forward, the car can get big runs but can handle just well enough that incidental contact doesn’t take out half the field. The Chevrolets showed speed and actually won a race this year, taking 7 of the top 10 spots. Daniel Hemric finally added another good finish to his rookie year and even Corey Lajoie brought the 32 car home in eleventh. Heads up for Nascar going to the quickie caution to give us the most regulation racing possible. Just goes to show you, Superspeedways are the great equalizer. Next week we head to my home track the Monster Mile in Dover Delaware where I expect Kyle Busch to resume his dominance.

-Bones

Gambling/ Fantasy Picks for the Geico 500

April/28/2019

Let’s go to down to Bama, Nascars biggest and fastest track. 188 laps of five wide action. Talladega is a crapshoot but the last several years the Fords have been the fastest consistently so let’s get into some picks.

Pick #1- Brad Keselowksi, hes won at here 5 times and in his career, most among active drivers, and again is driving a Ford.

Pick #2- Aric Almirola, probably should have won two superspeedway races last year instead of one and has shown speed all weekend, qualified second. Again driving a Ford.

Pick #3- Kurt Busch, although he doesnt have a win at Talladega he does have the most active top 10s at Dega with 19. Being how strong he has been all year I think this might be the week he breaks through.

Pick #4- Ricky Stenhouse Jr. He may have a bit of a rough around the edges reputation with his style of racing and decision making, but theres no arguing he has the best average finish in the field at Talladega and multiple Superspeedway victories. Also driving a Ford.

Pick #5- Matt DiBenedetto, my dark horse this week. Had a real strong showing at Daytona leading 49 laps before a caution ended his night. Matt has shown an ability to keep the car clean and be there at the end which is what’s most important at these tracks.

My heart pick is Jeffrey Earnhardt driving the #81 because, this is and always will be Earnhardt country.

-Bones

What’s Cooler than Winning a Race?

Aprip/27/2019

Winning one hundred grand on top of it. Which is exactly what Tyler Reddick did today at Talladega winning the 3rd of 4 Dash 4 Cash races. Only made possible by a masterful display of blocking.

Now an extra 100k might not sound like big money to the normal sports fan that sees all of these athlete salaries but this isnt part of their salary. This is just cold hard cash, extra walking around money. Someone thing as like the bonus someone gets for making an all star team. Someone like Christopher Bell has said he will use his 100 grand winnings to jump start his own dirt racing team. Reddick will probably throw a couple extra bucks to his crew and throw one hell of a party tonight for his team.

Side note, go Gray Gaulding, driving an underfunded team to a second place finish has to feel special. Also that Panini car looks bad ass.

-Bones

The NFL Draft Takes Way too Damn Long

April/25/2019

Three days is way to long for a seven round draft. I get why they do round one the way they do and make a big production out of it. But let’s move it along, this should be a one day thing. No one in their right mind is watching round 4-7 on Saturday, if you do you are a psychopath.

I love football and I love my team and I love watching draft highlights and paying attention to prospects but let’s be honest after the first couple of rounds it’s a crap shoot. Brady was a 6th rounder, Priest Holmes was undrafted, John Randle went undrafted none of these GMs know what they are doing. Baseball gets 40 rounds done in 3 days theres no reason for 7 rounds to take 3 days. Granted in baseball you are throwing darts at a wall but football is the same thing with how many 4th rounders becomes all pros.

There is no reason what so ever for each pick to take five minutes. These GMs and Coaches have been studying these college players for months they knew who they wanted to pick before the combine even happened. Let’s get this show on the road, your pick still probably wont work out.

(Edit) Each team has 10 minutes for each pick which is even more ridiculous. It will take over an hour to get to the 6th pick. At this rate the first round of the draft will take longer than an actual NFL game.

Atleast do rounds 1-3 day one and do rounds 4-7 day two. Only doing one round on Thursday is overkill for TV ratings. If your team has an early pick wouldn’t it be so much better to see your first two prospects? How many people even turn into day two? How many people even watch day one instead of the playoff basketball and playoff hockey we have. Or does everyone just check online when it’s all said and done.

-Bones

Bill Elliott Had the Worlds Biggest Cojunes in 1987

April/25/2019

In 1987 Bill Elliott set a new speed record in Daytona at 210 Mph. This wasnt good enough for Awesome Bill from Dawsonville since he then later broke his own record at Talledega going 212 Mph. That record still stands to this day since and it should cause that is ludacris speed.

Granted the real reason no one has broken this record is because after this event and the crash that took place on lap 21 with Bobby Allison, Nascar would require the use of restrictor plates on the carburetors to slow the cars down. But the fact that in 1987, with no HANS device, no safer barriers with an open face helmet, Bill was just willing to hold her wide open that entire lap to claim worlds fastest man is insane.

As a matter of fact if you’ve ever wondered why race cars dont have speedometers take it from Buddy Baker.

The last thing you want to know while going 200 Mph is that you are in fact going 200 Mph

Again the level of testicular fortitude it takes to strap into that car and do well over 200 Mph is out of this world. For the first time since 1987, Nascar will visit Dega without restrictor plates. No this isnt going mean new speed records because the cars will still have tapered spacers to reduce horsepower but it feels like a step towards 200. In February at Daytona the top speeds were at 195 for qualifying but with the draft I think we might see some 205 this weekend if not higher. However with those speeds will Nascar slow the cars back down?

It’s a new package, it’s the same old Dega let’s have one hell of a race weekend.

-Bones