Peter Alonso is the Best Baseball Player of all Time


Dont believe me? Lets look at some other greats through their first 11 games started.

  • Ken Griffey Jr. .194 Batting Average, 7 runs, 7 hits, 2 dingers, 6 strikeouts. P.U.
  • Albert Pujols .429 Batting Average, 9 runs, 18 hits, 4 dingers, 6 strikeouts. Getting better.
  • Mike Trout .179 Batting Average, 6 runs, 7 hits, 1 dinger, 9 strikeouts. Stunk out loud.
  • Alex Rodriguez .244 Batting Average, 4 runs, 10 hits, 0 dingers, 13 strikeouts. Maybe he needed the juice.
  • Barry Bonds .275 Batting Average, 10 runs, 11 hits, 2 dingers, 14 strikeouts. Somehow this kid it the best long ball hitter of all time.
  • “Pistol” Pete Alonso .378 Batting Aveage, 10 runs, 17 hits, 6 dingers, 16 strikouts.

As you can see above only one of these players could really combine the average and the power and that man is Big Meat Pete. I’m just happy the Mets drafted someone and so far haven’t fucked it up. Who knows maybe next week they will tell him to bat lefty and the whole thing will come crumbling down. But for now lets bask in the Polar Bears greatness. Just look at this beautiful spray chart. Pete will the put the ball anywhere he wants anytime he damn well pleases.


Fuck Babe Ruth


I hate to break it to everyone but Babe Ruth sucked. Maybe not statistically but if you can watch this tub of lard try to round the bases and can honestly say “one of the greats” stop huffing paint. Or stop hitting the bottle as hard as the Babe did.

I’ll be honest all of this Bambino hate came from playing MLB the Show 19, there is a mode where you can go back in time and play as the greats and good god is he not that great. But I needed a more solid base for all of my anger and hatred pointed at the Sultan of Swat. They also show footage of the Babe that I had never seen before which left me shocked that early America worshiped this man.

He looks more like your beer-gutted uncle than any professional athlete. He held a bat like he was afraid of the ball, he ran as if he took a full stride he would fall and need the life alert button. For one thing George Herman should just be glad he did not play in the era of social media. Whether it was marrying an underage girl, whether it was the frequenting of whore houses or it was the torrid pace at which he destroyed his body, this man would have been torn apart in 2019. Even if I thought the Bambinos swing could catch up to today’s pitchers he would just be Josh Hamilton, a ton of promise but couldn’t stay clean or keep his head on straight. Babe Ruth had to sign a morality clause to give up booze and his night life. He simply said

 “I’ll promise to go easier on drinking and to get to bed earlier, but not for you, fifty thousand dollars, or two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars will I give up women. They’re too much fun.”

probably why his wife finally left him 1928. If you look up Babe Ruth’s weight the MLB will say he weighed in at a measly 215. Bullshit, look at this video and tell yourself that whale weighs 215, reportedly in 1923 and 1924 he was up to 260 because of too much booze and too many hot dogs. Good god could you imagine Mike Trout coming into spring traing tubby because of fucking hot dogs?

If you can booze everyday and you can stay out till the wee hours of the morning before games and still be at the top of your game, your game wasn’t at the top. Also lets admit things might be a little different if Babe had to play 30 years later with the likes of Jackie Robinson and Willie Mays if you catch my drift. Adam Ottavino caught heat for saying

 “I said, ‘Babe Ruth, with that swing, swinging that bat, I got him hitting .140 with eight homers.’

and I fucking believe him, because ain’t no way Herman could hit a 94 Mph Sinker. This man could hit into right field and get gunned down before he got to the first base bag. Babe Ruth didn’t even have 3000 hits. Not my goat.